Diesel, Milk, and Hilary Clinton

[Editor's note: I didn't edit this at all!]

Wow!  Contrary to popular belief, I have not caught a case of the grizzly maiming death as it were.  Not even a case of acute influenza.  In fact, I am still alive.  (insert ominous terrible 80’s movie sound clip here).

Although, I can’t exactly say what I’ve been doing the past couple of weeks, I’m pretty sure it was a lot.  You can infer a witty comment like ‘no rest for the weary’ here, but I didn’t say it.

Missoula was visited by both Obama, and Clinton this past weekend.  I didn’t go.  I feel like it’s this last stitch effort on their parts, that both of them never thought would ever have to come about.  Reading and being briefed about Montana life; our fine governor said it all:  it was something to the effect of ‘We like our guns in Montana.  We like shotguns, rifles, and revolvers.  Don’t attempt to take them away.  We all know how to use them’.  Mind you, this is paraphrased, as I read it this morning in the paper, and it’s not twelve hours later, so who knows how convoluted it’s become after being in my brain for that amount of time.  He probly said ‘we like kittens in Montana’.  And although, where that is true, we don’t like cats, so we’d rather just get rid of the lot.

My neighbor that looks like Sasquatch, seems to have shed his winter coat, and it turns out, he is actually a human.  Although, I still like to call him Sasquatch, really, who wouldn’t.

The best news by far though, since I’ve been elusive, is that I ventured into the local bar wearing a full outfit of tar and diesel.  With clothes underneath.  Those that weren’t revolted, were oddly attracted.  Like they’ve never smelled diesel before.  I like the smell of diesel, because it reminds me of my dad.  My mother, however, hates it, because my dad made her whole house smell like it.  I suppose it’s all a perspective thing.

I don’t have anything useful to say really, which is perhaps why I’ve been silent lately.  I chalk it up to laziness though.  Laziness, and the fact that I haven’t really had too much to complain about.  Until today.  I’m not sure if I got annoyed at my own stupidity, or at the world in general.  I haven’t been feeling exactly right lately.  Not exactly ill, just, not I want to go sing to the clouds because everything is right in life.  Kind of more like I’d be good company for cows, chewing cud and such.  And, I seldom feel like a cow.  So, this morning, much to my dismay, my morning brew (coffee for you sikkos), tasted a bit sour.  Guaranteed, it was the end of the bean bag, but, that should make anything sour.  So, I smelled my milk.  (which is $5 a gallon now).  The whole problem was sour milk.  No wonder my tummy didn’t feel singing happy.  The date on it wasn’t even for four more days.  The injustice of it all.