Moose Love

I have a brother who used to work for the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation. The most exciting part about it, was for a couple of years he was on moose patrol. This usually pertained to tranquilizing moose that would not leave residential areas and relocating them to a more ‘wild’ setting. Most of the moose that seemed to like areas that were generally considered ‘human’ had in fact, fallen in love with cows. For some moose reason, they are utterly (excuse the use of word when about to speak about a cow) fascinated by cows, and when they find the right cow, they fall in love and thus, begin wooing them.

I’m not really up on cows falling in love, but I seem to be an expert on moose falling in love. Some of the relocated moose, actually made it back to their true love, and had to be relocated yet again. Such dedication. Really, if a man fell in love with me, got tranquilized, and relocated miles and miles away and found himself back to me… well, I’d probably get a restraining order, but, with moose and cows anyway, it seems romantic.

The ongoing story in my local newspaper is actually about a moose as well. Well, actually more publicized is an avalanche that happened a few days ago that killed some trailblazers. Slightly less, and I stress the word slightly here, is a reported rampaging moose. (on the same mountain as the avalanche as it were). Anyway, not on a main trail, but a popular trail for skiers and snowmobilers that know the area, there is a renegade moose that keeps attacking people. It evades animal control like the plague, but damned if it doesn’t like snowmobiles. Well, it doesn’t like them, but more likes to attack them. There haven’t been any casualties thus far. Which is fortunate.

The flip side to that story is one attacked skier actually took the moose’s side. When the moose charged him, it got close enough before he bashed a tree branch over it’s head to see that its’ eyes were cloudy. So, in other words, the moose is blind. Makes me wonder how it can tell animal control guys on skis from recreational skiers. Smart moose.

I’m pretty sure the solution to the whole problem is to sacrifice a cow to walk down the trail, and blamo, problem solved. Instant love. Hopefully. I hope they will be very happy together. And I’ll look for the article that announces a new species of whatever it is that a moose and a cow would produce. I’ll name it Bob.