Bad Dreams and Britney Spears

Britney Spears really is a bad dream all in herself.  She really should have stopped with the Mickey Mouse Club.  I’d really like to state the fact that, if the news stopped broadcasting her, she’d be long forgotten before anyone knew it.  No one really cares about it.  It’s not like she’s Jackie Kennedy. 
Enough about Britney.  Do you ever have those bad dreams that are so inane and stupid that you wonder if you were secretly force fed Spam before you went to sleep?  I know I do.  And I seriously hope I was never forced to eat Spam.  Just the thought of it kind of makes me want to drown myself in puff pastry to just forget it.  That’s really not a bad way to go though, drowning in puff pastry.  I can think of worse things.  Anyway, isn’t it weird that some things seem so scary in dreams, and then you wake up, still scared, and then think about it, and realize that you’re literally shaking in bed because you had a dream about the scariest teddy bear in history?  I once had a scary dream about an apple tree.  As it turns out, it wasn’t that scary.  It couldn’t even do all of those scary tree things, like move its branches and suffocate you, like in scary tree movies.  It was just standing there.  And it was frightening damnit. 
Personally, I think that stupid dreams that are so very frightening while they’re happening, are spawned from horrible movie trailers.  Like Lake Placid 2.  I saw that one yesterday, damn those gargantuan sized rabid alligators.  In the trailer, the killer alligator was roughly the size of Lake Placid itself.  And really, if you wanted to go out for a boat ride, or go swimming, would you really choose to go swimming in a lake that was actually a hungry alligator that thinks human is its favorite meal?  I hope not.  The most disturbing thing about it though… is that it’s the second one.  Which brings me to think about Fox and When Animals Attack parts 1-17,400.  I think they’ve had so many of them, that there’s now footage about an angry guinea pig that bit a kids finger. 

I guess my ultimate decision is… turn off the television, and then I won’t encounter any more scary apple trees. 

Bad Dreams and Britney Spears

Artichokes: The Scariest Vegetable

      I had a nightmare about artichokes last night.  I’m not really quite sure on the particulars, but I do know, that it involved artichokes and it was very scary.  Scary like when you have  home invasion dreams and you have to figure out how to get you and everything else living out of your house.  And the pound puppy you’ve had since you were two.

      I think I’d like it if artichokes invaded my house though.  I really like to eat their hearts.  Is that morbid?  That’s what they’re called anyway, artichoke hearts.  They’re really tasty in dips and on salads, or just as themselves. 

Really, just getting inside one is fun it itself.  I make a bit of a game out of it, like I’m hacking through the jungle with a machete, and somehow at the end, artichoke hearts are my prize.  Somehow, I think it might be cooler if there were actually some sort of gold prize in the middle, instead of just vegetable.  Like the golden tickets from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, only, with a better result than having to meet Willy Wonka.  Lets face it, he’s a freaky guy.  I’d rather meet Harrison Ford.  Or, Fidel Castro, or really, do anything other than be forced to meet Willy Wonka.

Anyways.  Artichokes.  I’m not quite sure what caused me to have a nightmare about one, but, it has made me a bit obsessed with getting some.  Which is easier than it sounds.  With gas prices these days, I’m afraid my craving is going to have to be quelled until Sunday…  Sigh.  It all seems so far away.