Posts Tagged whistling

My Goals….Everything’s Better with a Little Bacon

bacon1.jpg

There are lots of things I wish I learned how to do in life. Number one, I suppose has to be learn to whistle. All I really want to do is be able to whistle the Andy Griffith Show theme song. I’m not really quite sure why, but I feel that it would enrich my life in ways I can’t even fathom.

  • I also want to learn how to smoke a cigar. And enjoy it. For a person like me, pretty much the culmination of looking badass is relaxing with a cigar and a glass of scotch. I think you have to have the right stature for it though. I mean, me, standing at nearly six feet, liking flannel and packaged men’s white t-shirts would look pretty badass. But that look might look a little silly for a lady that’s a bit more sophisticated, demure and shops at places like Macy’s and likes to wear high heels. At first. I like to think that the cigar and glass of scotch is a look that anyone can perfect since I’m a badass even though I don’t own a motorcycle look.
  • I really want to take a real cooking class, so I can say with educated knowledge that my way is better. Or at least think it.
  • I am already a connoisseur of coffee flavored coffee. But, I’d like to have the time to sit and enjoy it properly in the morning. I’d like to promote our local coffee roasters and try every flavor they make. Then, mix my favorite two together, make a masterpiece, call them, and tell them to name it after me. It shall be forever known as Cutlass Liz’s Blend: Cures Even the Most Prominent Morning Bitchiness.
  • Finally, I’d like to eat more bacon, without worrying about clogging my arteries. In fact, I would like to start a dinner series with the theme ‘wrapped in bacon’. Because lets face it, I’ve never met anyone that doesn’t like bacon. Someone even once tried to convince me that bacon beer would be a good thing. Or bacon in Mongolian barbecue. Hmm…

I guess I don’t really know about anyone else, but it’s time for me to get off my proverbial bum, turn off the television, and start learning to whistle.

In case you need more bacon info:

1 comment January 20, 2008


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What’s this all about? Who writes this stuff?

Hi. My name is Jess. I am one of nearly a million people that live in Montana. I have freakishly small feet for my height, and I’m terribly afraid of smallpox. Not contracting smallpox so much as the disease itself. Ok, both. I write about many various things, including, but not limited to, building houses (and being bad at it), cooking (and being good at it), living in the boonies, my frightening old man neighbor and my mother. They don’t know each other.

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